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Helping a parent with dementia, the ultimate in compassion home care


Families caring for their elderly loved ones often find it challenging when helping a parent with dementia. Although this might be the ultimate expression in compassion home care, the frustrations often create problems for caregivers and their families.

WHO, the World Health Organization estimates that 1 in 8 people experience some form of dementia as they age. And those numbers appear to increase each year.

Thus, it’s likely that one of your family members might be among those affected.



helping a parent with dementia


Caring for older parents provides security for adult children because they know that they provide loving care and spend more time with their parents. However, caring for older parents is not easy, especially if they have dementia and are stubborn. Stamina and sinking in the heels are two characteristics of dementia. And these are the most common reasons that adult children seek help as caregivers.

If you’re not sure how to deal with your stubborn elderly parents with dementia, you are not alone. We understand the tough challenges you face in getting your parents to the doctor. Winning their cooperation, persuading them to bathe and brushing their teeth, and communicating with them.

That’s why we’ve compiled advice from caregivers, healthcare professionals, gerontologists, dementia experts, and other authorities. We’ve put together this list for you.

The tips were categorized and arranged alphabetically within each category to make it easy to find the tips you need most. Therefore, our tips for treating beloved elderly parents with dementia are not classified or qualified in any way.

Tips for Communicating with Your Parent with Dementia

Ask about your loved one you like. Check if your loved ones have concerns about their family members or the type of provider? When you cannot complete all the things of your loved one, it is important to keep them in mind. If your loved one is having trouble understanding you, try to explain easily and the decisions you want them to make.

  • Ask simple questions:

Yes, ask one question at a time; those with answers or not are best. It refuses to ask open-ended questions or offer more opportunities. For example, do you want to wear a white or black shirt? If so, tell us your choice: clear results and guidelines for solving your dirty water question. ”

“Well, try again and again to discuss. This allows your partner to focus all their energy on the conversation.”


  • Be Straightforward When Talking To Your Parents.

Less information is sometimes too much. When it comes to adult parents who don’t listen, drown out in-depth details about their day-to-day activities or why certain things should happen is a mistake.

Instead, they let the situation improve. It’s simple and straightforward, and everything will be fine. It tends to show the strength of resistance.

  • Communicate With Your Parent Assertively.

Good communication is about expressing your perspective, meeting needs and understanding your messages. Some relationships are different from passive or abusive relationships. When you are inactive, you can include your needs and requests to avoid conflicts with others. While this may seem easy on the outside, it can have long-term consequences and make others feel like they are forcing you to find a way to escape.

Although this allows you to express your feelings, aggressive relationships usually provide protection and support to others.

” Strong communication allows both parties to grip in discussions on this issue at a high level.”

  • Don’t Trigger Questions at your parents or ask them Complicated Questions.

First of all, don’t pepper with older questions or complicated decisions.  You can Say, “We’re going to tell the washroom.” When words calm them, do not utilize them. ‘Come with me,’ you say, and you’re done in the shower. If someone has dementia, they are scared, acknowledge, and say, “You are safe with me. I will protect you”. ‘Once they’re calmer, you can try to get them into something.


  • Don’t Use Lengthy Explanations: use KISS

Forget all the literal explanations. If a parent with dementia doesn’t remember three simple words in one or two minutes, then they won’t understand or remember your long explanation of why he or she should or should take a shower.

When the time comes, go to them gradually, call him to notice, smile, and wait until you get a smile.” Then straighten your relaxed face-up and wait for them to stay.

  • Focus On The Positives.

Discuss what activities they can still do independently. Maybe they can still cook or do the laundry. List all the usual activities they can manage, and then tell them what’s starting to get difficult, such as paying bills or climbing stairs. If they recognize some problem areas, you can compromise.

  • Listen More Than You Talk

Listen more than you speak. It’s a good idea in almost any situation and is especially helpful when you’re with your parents. How do you know how annoying (and making them stubborn) you are if you don’t listen, no matter how insignificant the conversation. They may be trying to say something without telling you. Sometimes you have to read between the lines.


Pay proper attention to what your Parents are attempting to communicate through self-willed behavior.

The most powerful stimulus is the brain because it is the main source of the diseases. However, the environment, the health of your loved ones, or its warnings from medications can also contribute. At often parents with dementia may be more prone to these behaviors because they do not feel well or even because of unfamiliar activities. For many, this behavior is the only way to remember how to communicate.

  • Talk less and use more visual cues

As human beings, our understanding is to study what we see.

To help people with problems, you need to reduce the use of obvious words and suggestions by older people, which will increase their perception of you, more positive motivation.

  • Use the appropriate body language

You will need to use some hand gestures and facial expressions to understand yourself. Pointing or show can help. Touching and holding the person’s hand can help keep their attention and show them that you care. Warm smiles and laughter together can often communicate more than words can get.

  • Be flexible and compromise. 

Stay flexible and compromising to avoid disputes. Use nice instructions, instead of inviting them to confront open questions, and make sure the queries are clear. Simple reminders often help, such as “Can you smell our dinner?


Be Polite and distract your parents instead of forcing them to do something


‘You want to do something meaningful because it can be disgusting, and then try again if you are disappointed in something that you find interesting. Maybe you can watch a TV show and walk, listen, Music or birds feeding”.

  • Be willing to compromise

If your parents does not shower, for example, will be at least agree to a sponge bath? How about washing her hair? What about just washing their hands before eating? Sometimes compromise leads immediately.


Break The Process Of Taking Medication Into Steps.

Resistance to medication can be a response to feeling, scared, or confused about what to do. A feeling of control can also evoke resistance and anger. Try to break down the process of medication into steps, and reassuringly and calmly, explain what you are doing. Give her time. Every part of the process in which they can participate should be encouraged. You may need to pour the water into the glass, but they can pick up the pill from the table and put it in their mouth. If they need help getting the glass to their mouth, deliver it carefully then carefully.

  • Create A peaceful, Quiet Environment When helping a Parent with Dementia to Take Medication.

When it’s the time to give medication to your loved ones, begin with a relaxed environment. Make sure there are no loud noises like TV or commotion like a lot of people around. You can also try playing soft, soothing music.

You have to be calm yourself. If you are agitated, frustrated, or angry, they will make sense and they will also agitate and be less likely to cooperate. Take a deep breath before you begin and stay calm throughout the process.

  • Put the Medication in jam.

Deepak care education expert Tepa Snow recalls that as the disease progresses, the sense of taste changes. Unfortunately, the ability to detect bitterness is stronger. This is one of the reasons why it is harder to follow drugs. The second reason is that people with the disease can still detect structure;

“What does the ice show? Jam isn’t jelly, it’s smooth, but it’s a sweet elongated jam. In my opinion, it’s gin. It’s both sweet and textured. Many people prefer dessert over tea.” Spoons don’t fill your favorite jams. If there is a tablet that can be crushed, make it as good as possible, and put in a spoonful of jam.

Distract Parents Who Stubbornly Refuse To Brush Their Teeth.


The essential part is to hold on to things relaxed and friendly. You do not have to completely forget that they are brushing their teeth, but introducing something that makes the process fun or more interesting. Over the years, studies have shown the remarkable influence of music on dementia. Even in the late stages of the disease, many sufferers remember their favorite tunes and light up when they are played. This technique is worth a try if you resist when it’s time to brush.

Tell the patient that he/she will / may have a family or clergy visit later in the day, so it would be a good idea to freshen up.

We take the patient to the kitchen or the garden, have fun, and get dirty. This striking dirt can cause the client to ask for a bath or shower.

Honor the patient’s preferences based on his individual life story. For example, a patient could always tender a night bath to liberty, and therefore will respect the bathing activity and the task of cleaning. ”


  • Give Your Parents as Much Autonomy as Daily Tasks


If you take care of your parents, it could be while they tell you what to do. This loss of intelligence can cause stubbornness when you try to. Distract and do tasks for them. .If possible, leave your loved one to do the job alone informal or basic. This can reduce stress and anxiety on both sides. ”


  • Know when to take a break. 

You know when to give the impression pleasure. If you are walking a show after five minutes of conversation, take a shower. Interact the person with other activities and then try again 15 or 20 minutes later.


Make accommodations to make bathing easier


The very first step you have to find is why they are taking a bath. If depression is the cause, you should talk to their doctor. Medications and medications can help. If a small reduction is a problem and the adult does not need a family member to help them bathe, they can turn to a nurse to provide bath assistance.

If your parents are afraid of water (or falling into the tub), many, safety bathrooms, shower chairs and other items can help to make their bathing easier. If the person has dementia and is afraid of bathing, then you should hurry. Do not want to shower or bathe. Start with a small request, like asking if you can just wipe their face. Once they have been used for this purpose, you can gradually add cleansing to other parts of the body. Be sure to talk to them during the process and let them know what you do when you go.

Do your best to keep your parents with dementia clean, but keep your expectations high. Too much rain is impossible, and in the end, you have to lower your standards and change your definition of hygiene.

  • Make Bathing Familiar to and Non-threatening for Stubborn Parents.

“This test can hardly cause dementia in anyone. Anyone who wants to take a bath can be protected. Forcing a mother to take a bath can be dangerous for both of you.”

Keep trying to create the bathroom area friendly, and ineffective for you parents. They recommend taking a bath during the day, they advise. Like everyone else – most operators respond well to morning care programs.” Because they only have to wear clothes once a day.


“Mobiles are not eligible for deep bathing. For some, a little water and a strong shower chair are safe.”

  • Offer only the level of bathing consultation when necessary.

When bathing a person with dementia, let that person do as much work as possible. Be prepared to help when needed but only offer the necessary level of help. In the first stage, this person will only need a reminder to take a bath. As the disease progresses, it will need more help.


Put the demand for change on yourself instead of on your parent with dementia.

When we want our parents to make a difference, make it our problem and blame it all. If we are trying to get mom to accept a domestic helper, think about understanding her as needed, not her, like, ‘Mom, I’m worried, I can’t help myself.

I’m losing sleep because you can’t find proper food at home. Please help me I need you to calm my crazy mind. May I ask you to try to get someone to come out and shop and cook for you a few times a week? I will help you find someone. If you are opposed to starting homework or starting a new job, say a test or a “doctor’s order.” if you can add them to a new order, they can enjoy socialization and attention.

  • Change the narration when hiring a non-family caregiver.

You talk about what most parents never want, which is a burden on their children. Ask them to help you and ease your anxiety. If they agree to consider something, it is when you offer them help you had in mind. You describe what would help you feel better, such as hiring an employee to help you buy a bath or buy groceries, and so on. Admit it, you still want your parents to have complete control over the decision to hire someone. Offer to help research the best places to find a helper and prices. You can also offer to help with the interview. ”

Consult the help of a doctor or the police when necessary.

“When the strong old man refuses to listen to the family, cannot accept or reject the weak driving idea, and stubborn about it,” it will be difficult to cut the strong old man. If your loved one has this condition, see your doctor as often as possible or, if possible, follow the rules. You can save the life of a loved one or someone else.

  • Offer options when hiring in-home care.

[If possible, include your parents in parent-child conferences or appointments while hiring child care, says [Care.com caregiver Mary] Stele. Let them choose someday of the week or daytime to have a home health aide. About the staff will be friendly for walks, concerts, museum visits and other attractions.

  • Avoid treating your parent as a child.

If your parents are behaving as if their children are behaving badly,” continue to treat them the way you would. With any other adult, it’s easier said than done. When it comes to communication, if you’re in a critical situation, take the time and start a conversation when you have time to write down your thoughts and move on there is no support “.



We all get old, and so do our parents when we grow up. In growing up we see our parents changing habits and life and how they spend time.  When a person is old sometimes stubbornness makes its way to our old parents. Handling old parents is not a big deal but sometimes one feels exhausted. If your parents are under your care and suffering from dementia, then we hope that this guide can help you out with understanding the basics of how to handle them. You need to know what they need and when. Make sure you take good care of yourself and your parents.

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