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Anger in Elderly Parents
Dealing with anger will always have complications and frustrations. It becomes even more difficult when its about anger in elderly. But coping or dealing with anger in older people is doable if you are well informed and prepared! In this article, I will do my best to give my thoughts on elderly anger issues. I’ll also include how to cope, manage or deal with usual elderly anger outbursts.
Common Causes of Anger in Elderly
Anger is one of the most common emotions that we have. Though for the most part in our lives, we learn to control it. But through time that control becomes less effective and outbursts are inevitable. Here are some common causes of anger in elderly that I found through my research:
1. Physical Discomforts
Time and age come hand in hand. What was once a minor inconvenience can easily become a major pain later on in life! A bad ankle, arthritis or even dry skin can easily raise anger in elderly loved ones.
2. Pain and Irritation
Pain and irritation also come hand in hand and connects to my first point. The slight bumps and scratches can trigger elderly anger issues! Our bodies amplifies how irritable we are towards pain as we age.
3. Confusion and the Mind
One of the most common and worst causes of anger in elderly would be ones about the mind! Caring for elderly that have dementia can be difficult. Confusion will almost always result to irritation and later, elderly anger outbursts!
4. Idleness and Later, Boredom
Boredom can cause anger issues from both young and old alike. Being idle can be good but too much of it can make anyone irritable. Frustrations become worse if the elderly aren’t able to find joy in what they often did before.
5. Losing Their Independence
Elderly people may feel a loss of independence as they age! This loss of control over their lives leads to feelings of anger and frustration. Especially if they aren’t able to do what they loved doing before!
6. Everyday Small Frustrations
Frustrations can come from a lot of sources for the elderly. It can come from overcooking breakfast or even stubbing a toe while walking! What used to be minor inconveniences become major ones through age.
7. Loneliness and Difficulty in Communication
Feelings of isolation can be difficult for everyone. The elderly have it worst! They deal with their family moving out already or losing contact with old friends.
8. Emotional Issues
Emotions can easily run amuck for the elderly. Depression creeps in fast and most of the time causes irritability as well! There may be times where your elderly loved ones will suddenly feel sad and then angry in one sitting.
9. Changes in Living Situation
Moving to a new place or with new family members can also be a big source of stress and frustrations for the elderly. They may feel that their losing control of their everyday routines. Having to adjust to new circumstances is difficult even for younger people!
10. Stress from Environment
Last but certainly not the least, stress from the environment. It is one of the most common causes of anger in elderly loved ones! They may feel uncomfortable about something they see, hear or smell and react with anger.
Health Concerns with Anger in Older People
Intense or often anger in elderly is a major cause of concern. Not only for their social interactions but their health! Being angry all the time can result in a lot of nasty things:
1. Increased Anxiety
Frequent elderly anger outbursts can lead to more irritable and even anxious feelings. They may often second guess future interactions and feel regret from their outbursts. Finally, anxiety can also come from their frustration in failing to keep calm.
2. High Blood Pressure
High blood pressure is another long term physical effect from anger issues. The constant stress leads to physical changes in the body that can actually cause damage! Always having more force than normal through your arteries is a bad thing!
3. Headaches
Headaches are another problem that comes from constant stress or anger. Anger will almost always result in a big headache! What’s worse is that getting one may even cause another elderly anger outburst.
These are just some of the health concerns with anger in older people. For me, these three are the most common and most difficult to deal with. Not only are they unavoidable but if handled poorly, they can become dangerous!
Underlying Causes of Elderly Anger Issues
It’s important to know about underlying causes. Knowing if there are health concerns will always be a priority! Especially if them having any anger issues was never a thing!
1. Mental Problems
Elderly can have mental problems pop up later on in their lives. It’s sad but we need to accept that new issues can easily pop up with our elderly loved ones. Getting depression, anxiety or a resurface of post traumatic stress or PTSD trigger can often happen!
2. Heart Diseases
You need to take note of this cause since this is the most fatal! Hearth diseases can also pop up later in life and may be the worst underlying cause for anger issues. If left alone, it may lead to high blood pressure, heart attacks or worst, a stroke!
3. Physical Traumas
Feeling old wounds is common with the elderly. You shouldn’t find surprise with having an angry elderly war veteran. Wounds or physical traumas may have healed but they often linger!
Bonus: Its Worse for Elderly Men
Studies have shown that men lose testosterone every year after 40 years of age! The decrease in testosterone levels results in frequent mood swings and physical discomforts. It can even mess with sleeping cycles and result in crankier days!
Video credit: @GPConnectionsAU
This video offers tips for dealing with aggressive patients in nursing homes, including staying calm and understanding their situation.
Tips for Managing Elderly Anger Outbursts
Although anger issues are common amongst the elderly, it’s easy to manage. Like what I always say, prevention is better than the cure! But if you can’t prevent elderly anger outbursts, the next best thing would be managing them!
1. Communication is Key!
Communication will always be in most of my lists. That is because it is the best way to manage, deal with or even cure any and all disagreements. Talk with your elderly loved ones often! Know how they are, if they feel anything out of the ordinary.
If they have irritable moments, your calm voice will do wonders. Just make sure though that you communicate. Just talking and listening won’t mean much. Take notes and show them that you sincerely care about their anger outbursts!
2. Be Constructive and Work Around
Channeling negative feelings is a great way to manage elderly anger outbursts. Sometimes, the best way for your elderly loved ones to avoid negative emotions is to make them focus on something else. Drawing, playing music or even a short walk can help push away irritability.
3. Importance of Independence
Independence will always be an important factor in life! A lot of elderly anger issues may stem from discouragement and frustrations. Most of which would come from feelings of inadequacy and over all incompetence. No one wants to feel like a burden!
Make sure that you remind your elderly loved ones that you love caring for them! But caring for them doesn’t mean not giving them any independence. Preserve their independence by having them cook or take walks on their own. They’re old, not disabled!
4. Step Back and Take a Deep Breath
Sometimes, everything in our environment can become too overwhelming. The need to take a deep breath may be the most effective way to manage elderly anger outbursts. Having them take a step back from frustrating moments or scenarios will do wonders!
5. Get Professional Help
Last but certainly not the least, getting therapy or a professional caretaker helps! Therapy has been effective to a lot of elderly dealing with anger issues. Though it goes back to my first point in that communication will always solve problems!
Getting a professional caretaker can also be a way to manage elderly anger issues. They have trained, often managed and dealt with anger in elderly. You can never go wrong with hiring a professional.
Bonus: It’s Fine to Get Frustrated!
Managing elderly anger outbursts can get a bit overwhelming at times. In some cases, it won’t even be rational. It’s fine for you to get frustrated but never give up. Take a step back, think about how to connect with your elderly loved one and deal with it together!
Best Way to Deal With Anger
Now, if you really can’t avoid elderly anger outbursts, then you need to know how to deal with them properly. To avoid making things worse, the best way to deal with anger in elderly is to be as prepared as possible. This includes knowing what to do and what not to do in certain scenarios.
1. Focus on the Actual Issue
It’s easy to lose sight of what’s important when anger kicks in. Reminding elderly loved ones who are in their angry moments about the actual issue helps a lot. Most of the time, anger is just that one burst of negative emotion. Then what follows are feelings of frustration that leads to more bursts of anger.
You can deal with anger in elderly by reminding them to focus on the actual issue. If they are unable to do so, then it’ll be your job to. You need to find and focus on the reason or issue that made them angry in the first place. Solving that solves most elderly anger outbursts!
2. Let Them Vent Out
This tip is another variation of communication. Though this time its about you letting them vent out their feelings. Remember, sometimes the elderly feel like nobody ever listens. Take the time to listen and let them vent about their frustrations and irritations. Be patient and avoid interrupting them in those moments!
3. Look for Stressors
Looking for stressors is another good way to deal with anger in elderly. You’ll need to communicate with them well enough to find out what is bothering them and how you can help. Getting rid of stressors is easy when you know what too look for.
You can also get rid of things that you think gives stress. You’d know more when it comes to your elderly loved ones and what ticks them off. Though you should always consider asking them. Your elderly loved ones know themselves best after all.
4. Give Them What They Want
This tip sounds easy to do but in actuality, it isn’t. Most of the time, we’re too stuck in thinking that we know best. We’re the ones who’s spent our lives with our elderly loved ones and know them more.
You may be right at times, but most cases you’ll be wrong. No one can really say they know better than the actual person dealing with their struggles. Sometimes, the best way to deal with anger in elderly is to listen, give what they want and find a good solution.
5. Eating Healthy 
Eating helps curb irritability and even anxiety even in the elderly. Eating gives hormones like endorphins that get you that “happy” high. That’s why if they’re ever in a situation involving anger, try to have them munch on something!
Though you need to make sure that what they eat are healthy. Snacks and sweets can only go so far. Besides, healthy food won’t only benefit your elderly loved ones now but also in the long run!
Bonus: Take a Breather and Try Again!
If things get too intense, it would be best to take a step back and try again. Not only for you but also to your elderly loved ones. Anger poisons the mind from anything rational. If you find it difficult to deal with a particular situation, pause for a bit before rushing back in.
Preparations are Key!
Elderly anger issues are difficult but can become easy to manage and deal with. You need to do your best to prepare when experiencing these moments with your elderly loved ones. By doing so, elderly anger issues won’t become a bother to you or your elderly loved ones!
FAQs
How do you manage to keep your cool when dealing with elderly anger issues?
The best way to keep your cool would be to pause, breathe and focus on what your elderly loved one might need. For the most part, if you show that you’re willing to listen, things will get easier. Everyone will react well when you show them your sincerity.
Isn't going to therapy too much?
No, therapy is in no way too much for a situation that can become deadly if left unattended. Anger issues will not only cause problems in the present, but also in the future. Therapy or seeking professional help can help avoid any future complications. Plus, having a healthy relationship with your elderly loved ones is priceless.
